It must still be the offseason because we're ranking mascots! And talking about said rankings of mascots.
But let's be real: when it comes to mascots, unless you have a live mascot, it's not even worth talking about. Live mascots reign supreme and are so much better than just some college kid wearing a costume. And when it comes to live mascots, well, they don't get much bigger than Colorado's.
Ralphie isn't so much a mascot as he is an institution. He is Colorado and Colorado is Ralphie.
ESPN's Ryan McGee wrote a mascot power rankings column on Thursday. He, of course, had to break them into categories. Much like a featherweight boxer isn't made to compete with a heavyweight, there's no use in comparing goofy costumes to a 1200-pound live buffalo.
So yes, everyone loves the Oregon Duck. It's endearing. It's fun watching him ride a motorcycle. But you know what would be better than that? An actual duck riding a motorcycle. Call me when you figure that one out, Phil Knight.
It's the same thing with Buzz in the Ramlin' Wreck at Georgia Tech. It's just a dude in a yellow jacket costume riding in a car. Have you ever tried to operate a car with a real yellow jacket flying around? Now that's a challenge.
And sure, there are some cool human mascots, too. The Masked Rider at Texas Tech, the Notre Dame Leprechaun, but they're still B-listers in comparison to the live animal mascots. The true trampling titans of the sport.
Colorado's Ralphie earns No. 2 live mascot ranking
Due respect to Mr. McGee, but we demand a recount. Ralphie is second to none.
To McGee's credit, he does rank Ralphe ahead of Bevo at Texas, the waste of space longhorn that just sits on the sideline all game. Let us know when Bevo sprints across the field or does anything remotely interesting aside from becoming steak.
But the ranking is still a travesty. Ralphie sits at No. 2 behind Georgia's Uga, which, everyone loves dogs, but Uga is about the same waste of space as Bevo, just a lot less of it. Uga sits in a doghouse all game. He did almost bite a player once at Auburn, which was hilarious, but he's one of multiple dog mascots out there. Tennessee has Smokey. Texas A&M has Reveille. Washington has Dubs. Dogs are a dime a dozen in the mascot game. And, frankly... well, I'll just let Lee Corso tell it.
But nobody else, in the FBS at least, has a live buffalo mascot. Ralphie is as unique as she is majestic.